She is still teaching us … even in death

Last week I attended the memorial service for my dear friend, Merrywayne Elvig. Not Marywayne, not Mary, just one word … Merrywayne. Merrywayne was very clear about that. (She was named after two relatives - Merry and Wayne.)

Merrywayne was clear about a lot of things. You always knew where she stood on an issue. For many years, she served on the City of Anoka’s Housing Redevelopment Authority and numerous other committees. She usually had an opinion … and she let it be known. Most people didn’t mind that she differed from them in her opinion. In fact, often others would seek out her opinion. Typically, she would wait until the end of a discussion and then - in a mere sentence or two, she would lay out the solution in a way that commanded respect. As stated in her obituary, Merrywayne’s “feisty independence was legendary.”

Merrywayne was four feet, 10 and ¼ inches tall but her short stature did not matter. Her twinkling eyes, infectious smile and her deep lusty laugh (with a touch of rattle from too many years of smoking) would immediately endear her. Although she was on oxygen for the last few years, she didn’t let that stop her. She rarely missed a meeting or a sporting event for one of her grandkids.

Typical of her nature, Merrywayne planned her funeral. As the service began, I - and likely many others, was struggling to maintain composure. And then the service began - with a favorite hymn “How Great Thou Art.” Hearing that song at a memorial services usually gets me crying. But not this time. At Merrywayne’s request, a local saxophone/keyboard duo, Coda, [www.codaduo.com] began playing - but not at the normal tempo. They played a beautiful, up-tempo version that had people smiling and tapping their feet. Instead of a tear, a smile came to my face. Family and friends spoke fondly and eloquently, clearly showing how much they adored this lovely little woman. And the final crowning touch – we left the church with the music “As the Saints Go Marching In.” Through the tears, most were smiling (and a couple was dancing). All as Merrywayne planned.

Although she would never think of herself as a role model, Merrywayne taught us many things.

She taught us to stand our ground and be determined.
She taught us that community service matters.
She taught us to be kind.
She taught us the importance of caring for family,
She taught us to make the most of life.
She taught us that it will be okay.
She taught us to smile and keep smiling.

Others will serve in her place but they will never replace her.
Thank you, Merrywayne, for all you gave and for memories that will continue showing us the way.